Dieing Thoughts
by Snowflower55
Summary: A lot of things go through your head when you don't have much time left. Potential spoilers for Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.


I'm just a being crafted from memories. Sora's memories of Kairi, to be exact. Nothing more, nothing less. Well...At least I'm something. At the very least, I'm not an empty shell of a human; at least I represent something special. But that doesn't mean I matter in the scheme of life. I'm just the physical representation of something humans can't visually see or touch. I guess...I guess you could say I'm nothing more than an illusion. An illusion of the human heart.

I've been called a lot of things in my short life. Puppet. Broken. 'It'. Thing. Failure. They say these things about me as if I'm nothing. As if I'm just an object, like I can't feel anything. I know, I know, I can only imitate the feelings humans feel. I've been told that maybe a million times. But, why...Why is it that whenever someone calls me something like that or I think about when they did...I get a heavy feeling in my chest?...It's not like someone hit me or I fell. The feeling is just...There. I guess it's where my heart would be if I was a human...Is it pain, or sadness?...

But, I don't always feel that way when someone calls me something. No, I, an illusion, have been blessed with at least two people that really care about me, to the best of their ability. They call me things that make me feel...Good?...Happy?...Anyway, I cherish those words. Important. Loyal. Caring. Friend. They even worry about me. I know it must sound stupid, but whenever I think about it, I just forget about whatever's bothering me at the moment. Sometimes, when I think about it for too long, I just feel like I'm going to burst with...Happiness, I guess?...I would never give up those memories I have with them. I don't have many memories, so the memories of those two are easily my favorites.

I've spent most of my life questioning something or being confused. I guess the saying 'The hardest person to know is yourself' is all too true after all. A woman I once met on a mission told me that. Somehow, in some way...I can't help but think she sometimes felt as lost and confused as I did. It's too bad I never met her again...

But I guess it's a little too late for that now. Soon enough, I'm going to have to return to my normal state: memories of Kairi. The worst part is is that after that, it will almost be as if I never existed. At least Nobodies are remembered. At least they have their tombstones in the Castle that Never Was' graveyard. Since I'm just made of memories of a real person, the memories of me have to be forgotten in place of theirs.

My sole epitaph is the hearts I've captured and sent to Kingdom Hearts. But it's kind of hard to tell who returned which hearts. It's impossible, in fact. So, even that doesn't really matter in the winds of time. I will be not only gone, but forgotten as well. Some might say erased.

But please don't think that it isn't for a purpose. The savior of the worlds will be awakened by my demise. And even if I did stay as myself, I would have nowhere to go. My former superiors would just use me for their own selfish purposes, and I'd have no one to turn to. My only real purpose is to return to Sora.

The two who care for me, you ask? They may feel sad at first, but as time passes, little by little, they'll forget me just like everyone else. I hate to leave them behind, but like I said, they'll only feel sad for a little while. I wish nothing more than to be with them, but my circumstances can't allow it. So I must return.

But...At least, since I cannot be with them, I'll have my memories of them. The times we sat on the clock tower and ate sea salt ice cream, when we went on missions together, when we laughed together. The few moments I have where I could just forget all of my confusion and sadness...Those were the moments when I felt happiest. And I may never have any more of those times again, but at least I'll have my memories. I also at least know that the two I care for most will be watched over. A girl who is of a similar origin to my own will make sure of that. Knowing that, I can rest in peace.

Please, don't feel sad for me. Soon enough, you too will forget I ever existed. Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. That's just the way things are. Who am I you ask? Does it really matter? Well...I guess I should tell you anyway.

My name is Xion. I am a physical representation of Sora's memories of a girl named Kairi, and my best friends are Axel and Roxas. You won't remember me by tomorrow morning, but please don't feel sad. I am happy to have had people like Axel and Roxas to have cared for me, to have called me friend. That and the few memories I have with them are all I need to be content.

So don't be sad...


End file.
